I Love You, Grandpa
Fostering a strong grandparent-grandchild relationship.
In today’s busy world of juggling family, work and afterschool activities, it’s easy to forget the importance of the your child's relationship with his or her grandparents. Plus, in many situations, there’s a physical distance between where a grandchild lives and where the grandparents live. Follow these simple ways to strengthen the relationship between your child and Nana and Pop Pop.
Have frequent communication. According to Sue Johnson and Beth Bower, co-authors of Grandloving: Making Memories with Your Grandchildren, 5th edition (Heartstrings Press), it’s best for the grandparent and grandson to set up a routine time to talk, Skype or visit at least once a week. “Send hobby materials and ask questions about what interests them,” says Johnson, regarding what to have grandparents ask of their grandchildren.
Get active. There are many enjoyable things that children and grandparents do together. For those with younger grandchildren, enjoy building blocks, going to their sports games, and joining them in the pool or even on the ski slopes. “Grandparents should also teach their grandchildren something they enjoy, like sewing, gardening, woodworking or cooking. Who can ever forget Grandma’s special cakes and pies?” says Johnson.
Go the distance. For many clans, going to Grandpa’s house isn’t around the corner. It could be a four-hour car ride or a flight across the country. In these situations, grandparent-grandchild relationships can be nurtured through pictures and letters. “Take lots of photos when you are together and use these when apart. Make a photo puzzle, pop it in an envelope with the words. Put this together and see who loves and misses you!” suggests Bower.
Leverage technology. In today’s high-tech world, grandparents should stay savvy to the ways their grandchildren communicate, such as texting, joining Facebook and Skyping. “You can share puppets and stories with the little ones, watch the middle schooler’s piano practice, and it’s a great way to meet your teen grandchild’s friends when they’re visiting,” says Johnson.
Face the teen years. For many grandparents, it can be tough to maintain a strong relationship with grandchildren during the teen years. Grandparents should show a genuine interest in their favorites, including music, books hobbies and sports. “Find something you both enjoy doing together and try to attend their special events,” adds Bower. Most of all, they should avoid criticizing their teenage grandchild’s clothes, hairstyle or friends. If grandparents remain approachable and understanding, they may be the one the child turns to if things get difficult at home!
There are countless benefits from nurturing the grandparent-grandchild relationship. Grandchildren gain a sense of security and a feeling of belonging to something bigger than themselves, while grandparents feel needed, loved and younger. “It’s a win-win for the entire family— there’s that extra love to go around,” adds Johnson. So pick up your phone, iPad or cell phone and let your kids connect with their grandparents.
Kerry Luksic is a mother, a writer and an Alzheimer’s advocate. She is the author of the recently published memoir, Life Lessons from a Baker’s Dozen: 1 Mother, 13 Children, and their Journey to Peace with Alzheimer’s (Unlimited Publishing, LLC). Some of her other work has appeared in The Star Ledger, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Main Line Times, Parents Express and Examiner.com. Connect with Luksic at www.kerryluksic.com.