My husband and I are convinced that we are raising sex addicts… or as we like to call them, hopeless romantics.
I know it sounds harsh, being that our children are just ages 5 and 7. But the truth of the matter is, they are obsessed with kissing and being in love. Both have gotten their first kiss out of the way at the ripe old age of 5. First base DONE!!!! Phew.
My daughter made the grand announcement the other day as I was hugging her goodnight. “Goodnight my sweetie,” I said. “Goodnight mommy,” she replied. “And I kissed Derek today in school.” “See you in the morning,” she said as she headed down the hall to her room.
Hold up…. What did she say? I ran to get my husband. “Nick,” I said, “Jules’ room… NOW.” As we entered the room and opened the light, her little body was just slipping under the covers. “What’s up?” she said surprised. “Tell Daddy what you just told me,” I instructed her.
“See you in the morning,” she announced. “Not that,” I said, “the other thing.” “OOHHHH,” she said, “I kissed Derek today in the auditorium. I am in love with him.”
Closing my husband’s mouth with my hand, I asked him to try and keep it together. “Jules,” I started,” you cannot kiss anyone – ANYONE! Until you are married. Do you understand?”
“But he is sooooo cute,” she explained, “and I can’t help who I fall in love with.”
Dear Lord, it is worse than I thought. “Well, you can’t kiss him anymore,” I told her. “You are too young and you are not allowed. Ever… never. Got it?” “FINE!” she said. “Whatever.”
Every day since then, I’ve made sure we were on the same page. “Nope, I didn’t kiss him. Don’t worry,” she informed me after every school day.
But the obsession continues. “Mom,” she proclaimed walking into the kitchen one day as I stirred a pot of minestrone soup, “when a boy asks me to marry him, he can’t just say ‘Will you marry me?’”
“No,” I ask, “what should he say?”
“He has to say ‘I can’t live without you babe. I am in love with you all over.’”
“Ok,” I said, “that is nice… I guess.”
“Yeah,” she announced, “and when the man says ‘You can kiss the bride, he is going to dip me and kiss me hard on the lips.”
And here we go again!
My son loves his 2nd grade class this year because “the girls are hot.” “Oh, there are a lot of pretty girls in your class Michael?” I ask one day.
His reply…. “Mom, there is pretty and then there is hot.”
Of course there is.
He has also had a “girlfriend” every year since nursery school, in case you were wondering.
Just like a teenager who is so sick of partying that it has no appeal once he/she turns 21, my husband and I are hoping that our kids will decide they have been in enough relationships by the time they turn 11, that celibate is the way to go. I’ll kiss to that.