Some Background

The first thing you should know is that I am the mother of two boys, ages 9 and 10. I am also divorced and remarried. I have my own business and my 9-year-old, Crew, has autism.

Crew was appropriately diagnosed as autistic as a toddler. Along the way, he was deemed as having everything from pervasive developmental disorder (PDD) and other disorders on the autistic spectrum to being deaf. I was devastated when the 800th (or so it seemed) doctor sat me down and told me Crew would not function in society and would require massive amounts of therapy because of his "severe autism."

When my son was 2 years old, a doctor told me that Crew would never speak or hold any kind of job. You can imagine just how unbearable it is to hear such news, and then look at your child's face and cry as he stares blankly at you. I felt like I went to a funeral that day. But I didn't know who died— me or the idea of having a normal child.

I went home and sat on my couch. When the rest of my family was fast asleep, including my then 3-year-old son, the anger and sadness truly emerged. I wondered: What am I going to do? What will it all cost? How will my friends and family be affected? All these thoughts raced around my head. I soon discovered the answer is simple: Just be the best mom you can be. As Crew would lay in my arms fast asleep throughout his infancy, I would look at him and say, I love you; everyone is wrong.

Everyone was wrong. After years of therapies, treatments and different schools and a lot of work by many people, Crew is where he is now. He is a delightful, sweet 9-year-old boy who says "Block Buster" 500 hundreds times a day. Crew continues to not fully look people in the eye, and he still hugs everyone he shouldn't. Writing about all this makes all the emotions come back like a hurricane. But when I look at Crew, I remember what it took to get him where he is today. He struggles with things, makes his point well known and acts different than typical kids. That's my wonderful Crew.

I am uncertain about Crew's future and I am always willing to take people's advice or hear their stories, hoping one day I will find Crew's voice. Of this, however, I am certain: A mother understands what her child cannot say.