Now What?

At nine o'clock this morning, the phone rings. When I answer, a friend asks us all over for an early evening dip in the pool and dinner. We went up around 5:30pm— late of course— but for good reason…as always.

Our family has to make sure we have the juice boxes and snacks. The iPod touch and DS must be all charged up and ready to go. We tell Crew that we are going to Scott and Terry's house. Crew responds: "Pool, swimming? No dogs?"

The other family lives on a farm like us and Crew gets nervous about their dogs. They have one big dog that Crew knows is a dog. He's fine with this. But the family also breeds maltese puppies, which in Crew's eyes are not dogs. We reassure Crew that everything is fine and the dogs are away. We swim, have dinner and, like always, Crew is the best kid there because you never hear from him.

When a storm moves in, we cut the night short with Crew saying, "Storm, no raining, no storm." We go home and put the boys to bed. Crew is perpetually the first one to sleep and the first to rise. But tonight, he wasn't. He lay in bed and started to cry. I went to him and asked, "Why are you crying?" He answered, "Why are you crying?" I said, "Crew, you are crying because…?" He said, "I am sad." I put my head down next to Crew's and then asked, "Are you autistic?" Crew responded, "Yes." I put my head back down and wanted to throw up. Did he know what I was saying? Does he know he is autistic? That has always been my biggest fear— that my son knows he is autistic. We always try and protect our kids. I can't. It has already happened and every day now brings what?