Life's a Beach

I have spent the entire summer driving 120 miles each day for Crew's therapy. And on a recent Thursday, I decided we all needed a break. I packed up the boys and headed to my girlfriend’s beachhouse in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. Crew was very excited, repeating "beach, beach" during the journey. Each time, I would reply, "Almost Crew."

We were less than ten miles from home when Crew started talking about the trip, also repeating "no train ride, no waterfall, no plane, no fair." These are all things that Crew is afraid of. Most of the hour-and-a-half ride was spent answering Crew: "No. No train ride, no waterfall, no plane." Intermittently, I would slip in, "Do you want to go to the fair?" Crew would panic and reply, "No, no, no fair, beach, beach." I would answer, "No fair; we are going to the beach, Crew."

Crew settled in toward the end of the ride. When we arrived, he ran to the beach. A day of swimming, crabbing and sandcastle building was about to begin for everyone, except Crew. Once Crew felt the water and had a look around the beach, he turned to me and said, "Go home, Mommy, go home soon." I hadn't even opened my chair yet. I replied to Crew, "Tomorrow we go home." He looked panicked, wiggled in the sand and said, "Ok, home tomorrow."

Shortly after, Crew got used to the situation and tried to hang out with the other kids on the beach. It is difficult for me to watch an episode like this unfold. I want him to go with all the kids, but I have to follow behind to make sure nothing goes wrong and everyone can understand what Crew is saying. I looked around and saw moms chasing after their toddlers, realizing how lucky they are. Their children would grow out of being reliant on a parent’s watchful eye. Being dependent is just a phase for such children, unlike children with autism.